The other day I was tinkering around with the layout of this blog, adjusting little things that no one else would ever notice but me, and it dawned on me: I created this blog six years ago. The very first post wasn't up until October, but, I created an account and had been slowly setting things up since June, 2009. I was 23 years old, and preparing for my first semester at Oakland University that fall. In fact, my very first post was created from a silly writing exercise I gave myself on my very first day. I sat outside North Foundation Hall, not knowing anyone, feeling awkward (nothing new there), and decided to spend the half hour or so I had before my first class doing something productive. 

It is surreal to look back at posts made by 23 year old me, because 23 was a pivotal year in my life. 2009 was the year that I finally got my ass in gear school-wize. and I was putting myself through college while working full time. I had a decent commute 2-3 times per week, as well as taking on more courses each semester at OU than I ever did while attending community college. I had also just adopted Louie, and living in a small apartment meant walking him twice per day, as well as dropping him off at my parent's house while I was at work. I didn't mind though, because I have always been slightly addicted to being busy. It doesn't really come as a surprise that I decided to add blogging to my already hectic schedule, because what is life without a bit of chaos, eh?

23 year old me was really into Hitchcock movies, hanging out at dive bars, seeing local bands, drinking heaps of PBR, trying to figure out my own personal style, reading, and studying like mad at local coffee shops. Substitute 'studying' with 'projects' and not much has changed, other than me embracing my nerdy side more and more over the past few years.  I am proud of myself at that age though, I feel like even though I will always be mentally 12, I had my shit together for the most part. I stopped trying to live for someone else, I stopped trying to impress people. I stopped trying to make friends, and just let it happen when it happened. I let the world know what a giant weirdo I was, and that I was okay with that. I am thankful that I decided to start this blog, because I have this sort-of scrapbook of some of the most trying years of my life, all published on the internet for the world to see. It sounds completely terrifying, and it sometimes is, but I can't help but be proud of myself for sticking with something for so long. The best part about blogging though? All of the amazing people that I have met through it. I mean, how often can you say that you met one of your best friends through blogging?

If you have been following me on instagram lately, you may have noticed a few new recent changes. One: I now have purple hair. Two: I. LOVE. IT. Three: Party Cats. 

When my super-awesome friend Jen finally got around to getting a Snapchat account, her username was something about a party cat (based off of this comic strip). I of course was thrilled with the idea, and since Jen, Mariah, and I all accumulated wire cat-eared headbands, The Party Cats became a thing! We have since acquired three different sets of cat ears, and are working on a photo shoot, as well as a few other projects. 

I love it when we plan little Party Cat outings, because the moment I put the cat ears on, it's like I mentally shut out all of my problems and my worries for a few hours, because it's party time! Even if "party time" is just going out for coffee, or a trip to the mall, it is still a good time-out for all of the negative thoughts that plague my brain on occasion. I have even worn them to work a few times (usually on a Friday) because why just be at work, when you can be a Party Cat at work?!  Party Cats, it's a lifestyle ;)

As I type this, I am jamming out to Best Coast's new album while running on 4.5 hours of sleep. I have been getting the most out of my days lately, and everything sort of feels like a giant whirlwind. My life is work, gym, friends, trying to keep up with Kyle's new work schedule, and about a million projects going on. I have made so many new friends this spring, and it really has been amazing. I have always been an outgoing introvert, so nights where I can just spend some time cleaning and working on blog posts are much needed after a week of seeing people every single day. 

Anywho! This was my outfit for Kyle's last day at Mc D's shin-dig at Sneakers. I have been living in these cat-ears you guys, it is ridiculous. I even wear them around the house, when there is no one else around to even see them. Why? Because I enjoy looking at them. CATS. I also have been living in my Converse now that the snow is gone. I have been obsessed with femme outfits paired with converse lately, which is great because I am constantly jumping around and dancing, and considering my track record for falling on my ass (sober and not-sober), Converse are my frieeeeeeend.

I have tried getting photos of this outfit twice now, and both times they came out terrible. These were from the first batch where the lighting was weird, and the second batch came out all blurry. C'est la vie, non? Because that is real life, not everything is perfect.

Speaking of real life, I have been spending a lot of time just living in my head. Usually at the gym, I will pick at something that has been bothering me lately, and just run with it. Because what else are you going to do at the gym? Pay attention to what you are doing? Pfffft. Falling of off the elliptical trainer because you are so wrapped up in your own thoughts is completely acceptable, correct? You know that emotion most people are familiar with when something like that happens? Good ol' embarrassment? Apparently my brain stopped registering that one years ago.

In junior high, I really loved The X-Files. In junior high, kids were mean, and teased me for loving The X-Files. Not all of the kids, most of them didn't really care, but there were a few that would snicker, and mock the awesome T-shirt my parents bought me for Christmas one year. It hurt, a lot more than it should have, because I am was an overemotional person. It wasn't just my taste in science fiction TV shows, I was soft-spoken around most people, unless I was with my friends, then I was a loud asshole. I had socially-awkward down to a T! 

Eventually, we all made it to high school, where nobody gave a shit what you liked/what you wore/what you did, etc. I was still pretty awkward, and there were a few instances of teasing, but it got better. It got better because I made it better. Somewhere along the way, I developed a defense mechanism, and it is called self-deprecation. I found that by beating people to the punch by lightly making fun of myself first,  threw people off guard. For instance: I remember walking up to a friend as they were talking to a group of people I did not know well. They were discussing The Beatles (like most 9th graders do) and I, I was wearing a black shirt with the members of BSB-more fondly known as The Backstreet Boys-plastered all over the front of it. I remember one girl turning her nose up at my shirt as I joined the group. The first thing I did was mention my shitty taste in pop music, and of course one or two people went "ugh! I HATE that band!", but a few admitted to liking them, and asked what else I liked-The Beatles! Go figure.  I felt like acknowledging the obvious worked for me, and to this day, I still do it. 

It isn't that I am trying to "fish for a compliment", it is usually when I know that something is obvious (at least to me), so I just go ahead and point it out. If I have a giant soup stain on my shirt at work from spilling my lunch? Before my co-worker even asks, I am already explaining how I eat like a toddler. I usually apologize for my shitty voice at karaoke before the song even begins to play. Is this healthy? I have no idea. But I honestly feel like it becomes less of a big deal, if I let every know that I don't think that it is a big deal. 

Although most of the leaves have fallen in my area, there is still a big ass one with bright, yellow leaves in the park across from my house that I hope to take pictures of this weekend. It has been really awesome driving around with Kyle, looking for places to take photos lately. So much better than just standing by our house. I love all of the little extra photos I find when I am editing outfit photos too, Kyle has been sneaking in all sorts of cute shots. Do you think I can convince him to drive around like this in the winter? I might have to bribe him with food. So don't be surprised if you see a bunch of bakeries popping up on this blog. Seriously, the things Kyle will do for a doughnut. 

We are almost at the end of the week, and I am excited for the weekend (who isn't? Aside from those who have to work on weekends, obvs). It has been one month since I bought my gym membership, and I have been going an average of three times per week. Holy hell has it helped wear me out, I have been sleeping like a rock all week. That and melatonin are lifesavers. I have been getting to work on time all week, it is freaking everyone out.

I have another post coming up tomorrow, and I am kicking around some ideas for blog posts for the weeks coming up. So stay tuned :) 

This dress, this stupid dress! The boat neck style makes it so that I have to either wear a strapless bra with it, or always layer something under/over it. It also has no shape, so it needs to be belted, something I unfortunately did not do for this particular outfit. It is also a little fitted around my bottom half, but really lose on top (hellllooooo pear-shape!), which is not flattering at all. Yet, I still love this dress. Probably because it has a late 60's/early 70's vibe to it, but also because Kyle bought it for me for my birthday last year. Stupid unflattering, but lovable garment!

Moving on, Kyle has been really awesome lately with all of the outfit photos. Normally he grumbles (especially in the winter), but lately he has been really cool with driving around, looking for a nice park, where he will take a bunch of awesome landscape-type photos of trees and shit (I LOVE trees and shit!). Or, he will quickly take a few early morning ones if I bribe him with coffee and a baked good from Red Hook in Ferndale before work. This is a great spot, because there are a few awesome brick walls to choose from, and I get really good coffee afterwards, and Kyle gets to go into work early, which means he gets to leave early. Win-Win! Sadly, we have only been able to grab our stuff and go, as I have had soooooo much to do at work lately, I haven't had the time to sit down for breakfast with Kyle, or the occasional friend, in about two months! Stupid adulthood, ruining breakfast.