The Truth Is Out There
8:34 AM
In junior high, I really loved The X-Files. In junior high, kids were mean, and teased me for loving The X-Files. Not all of the kids, most of them didn't really care, but there were a few that would snicker, and mock the awesome T-shirt my parents bought me for Christmas one year. It hurt, a lot more than it should have, because I am was an overemotional person. It wasn't just my taste in science fiction TV shows, I was soft-spoken around most people, unless I was with my friends, then I was a loud asshole. I had socially-awkward down to a T!
Eventually, we all made it to high school, where nobody gave a shit what you liked/what you wore/what you did, etc. I was still pretty awkward, and there were a few instances of teasing, but it got better. It got better because I made it better. Somewhere along the way, I developed a defense mechanism, and it is called self-deprecation. I found that by beating people to the punch by lightly making fun of myself first, threw people off guard. For instance: I remember walking up to a friend as they were talking to a group of people I did not know well. They were discussing The Beatles (like most 9th graders do) and I, I was wearing a black shirt with the members of BSB-more fondly known as The Backstreet Boys-plastered all over the front of it. I remember one girl turning her nose up at my shirt as I joined the group. The first thing I did was mention my shitty taste in pop music, and of course one or two people went "ugh! I HATE that band!", but a few admitted to liking them, and asked what else I liked-The Beatles! Go figure. I felt like acknowledging the obvious worked for me, and to this day, I still do it.
It isn't that I am trying to "fish for a compliment", it is usually when I know that something is obvious (at least to me), so I just go ahead and point it out. If I have a giant soup stain on my shirt at work from spilling my lunch? Before my co-worker even asks, I am already explaining how I eat like a toddler. I usually apologize for my shitty voice at karaoke before the song even begins to play. Is this healthy? I have no idea. But I honestly feel like it becomes less of a big deal, if I let every know that I don't think that it is a big deal.
So what is the point of all of my rambling? The truth (see what I did there?). The truth is, we are not perfect. We all do weird things to get through the day, the week, the rest of our lives, or whatever. The truth is that we all have issues to deal with in our lives, but sometimes social media, and even blogging, make it appear that we live these perfect lives. Do I occasionally go on rants on Facebook and Twitter? Yes. The thing is, we all choose how we want to share our issues. Some people are very straight forward with their problems, others never post anything negative, and then there are people like me who turn most things into a joke. Instead of complaining on twitter that I haven't lost weight, I joke about the pie I had for breakfast. Instead of letting everyone know that not having a dryer is a big, pain in the ass, I tell an anecdote about trying to dry my underwear in the oven (don't do that).
All I am saying is that although I don't always directly say it, my life is far from perfect. I don't ever want this blog to portray me as having all of my shit together all of the time. Yeah, there are days when everything is groovy, and I have everything on my list done, and I feel awesome possum, but there are days when I feel like giving up because things go wrong/I am tired/I am sad/ I hate everything/ Taco bell put beef in my taco salad instead of chicken and I was pissed as hell but too nice to complain so I made Kyle take it back. It also comes down to what we feel like sharing. Some people share everything, where others, not so much, and it often leads to that "perfect" image that we know isn't true. Does it make people 'fake' for only sharing the positive things in their lives? It might come off that way, but I don't think it does. People have a right to pick and chose who they share personal information with is all.
In the end, we all have problems. Just some of us have back-asswards ways of showing it.
Details
Cardigan & Necklace-Forever 21
Shirt, Boots, & Hat-Target
Skirt-Thrifted
Tights-Leggs
Glasses-Warby Parker
10 Musings
First of all, love the outfit! And second of all, while I have started sharing more of the good AND the bad of my life on my blog there is nothing wrong with only sharing the good, you are right that sometimes you'd rather keep things private and not share with the whole world and I think that is a valid point too!
ReplyDeleteYes!! Not everyone shares everything on social media. I try not to share the bad too much. I confide in my friends but I rarely post about the bad. It doesn't mean my life is perfect.
ReplyDeleteAn old friend from high school that I saw last week asked me what I do for fun and I said "All I really do is work, watch TV and go to Renshaws." I don't really do anything else, my life is boring. She said that my Facebook makes it seem like I'm always doing stuff and have this amazing social life. It was never my intention to make my life seem like this.
What is intentional is not sharing that my employment is not secure and I'm scared of losing my job, that my garage was broken into or my house was last year, or that my basement flooded, etc. I found that sharing negative stuff only brought on more criticism from people. I was told I was looking for attention and pity when I posted the negative, so I stopped.
I know your point is that not everyone's life is perfect and I love your point and completely agree with you!
What a fabulous post. This is all so true. I am the same way about pointing out flaws or mistakes before anyone else can. I hate being made fun of, so I do it myself first! I try to share some of the flaws/imperfections in social media, but most of the time, I try to take an absolutely perfect picture of my soup.
ReplyDeleteLife is never as easy as it should be, we all got bullied, spat on, harassed. I was a fat kid with big glasses. I know and understand what shit you deal with growing up. It is not nice. But kids don't understand how they emotionally f*ck people up. Then moving overseas where you have the same thing again. Why are you white you are south african, do you have cars and other stupid shit like that. But i grew up realising there are morons in every country and you learn to accept who you are and learn to love yourself. You are awesome and that is all :D
ReplyDeleteYou keep giving us new reasons to love you. If you don't stop, you're gonna end up popular.
ReplyDeleteI nodded right along with most of this post. I think making fun of yourself or laughing at yourself are good ways to let things roll off your back. As long as it makes you feel better or makes it so you can cope better. Also damn those kids for making fun of your X-Files love. That show is awesome!
ReplyDeleteAnd I never understand people who complain that bloggers lives are perfect and theirs isn't. I know how carefully edited a person can make their life appear. It's not possible for things to be dandy and perfect in all aspects of life forever. It's just common sense that we all have problems. I don't mind seeing an edited version of life but I also enjoy bloggers who actually talk about the problems going on in their life. I try not to overshare my issues but I'd hope people know my life isn't perfect.
But anyway, I also really love the outfit you're wearing here. That necklace is super cool and I love the color of your cardigan. Cute hat too!
Jamie | PetitePanoply.com
This outfit though...
ReplyDeleteOoh, I love you for this. When I was in junior high / high school I was super into paranormal phenomena and was an aspiring paranormal investigator. I also thought I was Buffy the Vampire Slayer {something I still haven't outgrown}.
xx
Nod, nod, nod. Absolutely. I like to turn everything into a joke and or sarcastic comment and have to admit, it sure made my school life and now my adult life easier. It might not be the best way to work on your self esteem, sometimes it makes me feel like shit to point out the crappy parts, but rather me than someone else.
ReplyDeleteMostly I enjoy making people laugh, and people seem to enjoy self deprecating humour.
At the same time, since I've started to work on my confidence and such, I've also found just answering peoples questions about my person choices with 'yup, because I'm awesome' or something to that effect also throws them off guard.
I don't think they expect you to have confidence in what you like and choose to do, when we should have.
Just because it's different doesn't mean it's wrong :)
Great post, and I couldn't agree more. We should all stop and remember that no one is perfect, no matter how much they seem to me. I am also a bit self-depricating. It's easier to live when stating the obvious about oneself. It's like, don't judge me - I already know!
ReplyDeleteKels // harborcottage.blogspot.com
Sara, this post was absolutely amazing awesome-sauce! You are so right on. No one has a perfect life. Everyone does has problems. I had a good year, but I also had a depressing one. Keep this to yourself, but both my aunt and uncle passed this year. My mom just found out she has to have hip replacement surgery. I have been overwhelmed. Blogging is my escapism. So I keep it light and just talk about all that I love. Currently makeup. It's my happy place. I like that you looked for the BEST out of a situation. You look for the POSITIVE. Some can be so narrow-minded. We had different cliques in high school and I wasn't part of the popular group. But they were so snotty to people at times. Some still are. I'm like you. I'm accepting of everyone, no matter what you have or don't have. Some people are unwilling to do that. It's sad. Again, this post was amazing. Loved it.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.averysweetblog.com/
Talk nerdy to me.