The Truth Is Out There8:34 AM
In junior high, I really loved The X-Files. In junior high, kids were mean, and teased me for loving The X-Files. Not all of the kids, most of them didn't really care, but there were a few that would snicker, and mock the awesome T-shirt my parents bought me for Christmas one year. It hurt, a lot more than it should have, because I
am was an overemotional person. It wasn't just my taste in science fiction TV shows, I was soft-spoken around most people, unless I was with my friends, then I was a loud asshole. I had socially-awkward down to a T!
Eventually, we all made it to high school, where nobody gave a shit what you liked/what you wore/what you did, etc. I was still pretty awkward, and there were a few instances of teasing, but it got better. It got better because I made it better. Somewhere along the way, I developed a defense mechanism, and it is called self-deprecation. I found that by beating people to the punch by lightly making fun of myself first, threw people off guard. For instance: I remember walking up to a friend as they were talking to a group of people I did not know well. They were discussing The Beatles (like most 9th graders do) and I, I was wearing a black shirt with the members of BSB-more fondly known as The Backstreet Boys-plastered all over the front of it. I remember one girl turning her nose up at my shirt as I joined the group. The first thing I did was mention my shitty taste in pop music, and of course one or two people went "ugh! I HATE that band!", but a few admitted to liking them, and asked what else I liked-The Beatles! Go figure. I felt like acknowledging the obvious worked for me, and to this day, I still do it.
It isn't that I am trying to "fish for a compliment", it is usually when I know that something is obvious (at least to me), so I just go ahead and point it out. If I have a giant soup stain on my shirt at work from spilling my lunch? Before my co-worker even asks, I am already explaining how I eat like a toddler. I usually apologize for my shitty voice at karaoke before the song even begins to play. Is this healthy? I have no idea. But I honestly feel like it becomes less of a big deal, if I let every know that I don't think that it is a big deal.
So what is the point of all of my rambling? The truth (see what I did there?). The truth is, we are not perfect. We all do weird things to get through the day, the week, the rest of our lives, or whatever. The truth is that we all have issues to deal with in our lives, but sometimes social media, and even blogging, make it appear that we live these perfect lives. Do I occasionally go on rants on Facebook and Twitter? Yes. The thing is, we all choose how we want to share our issues. Some people are very straight forward with their problems, others never post anything negative, and then there are people like me who turn most things into a joke. Instead of complaining on twitter that I haven't lost weight, I joke about the pie I had for breakfast. Instead of letting everyone know that not having a dryer is a big, pain in the ass, I tell an anecdote about trying to dry my underwear in the oven (don't do that).
All I am saying is that although I don't always directly say it, my life is far from perfect. I don't ever want this blog to portray me as having all of my shit together all of the time. Yeah, there are days when everything is groovy, and I have everything on my list done, and I feel awesome possum, but there are days when I feel like giving up because things go wrong/I am tired/I am sad/ I hate everything/ Taco bell put beef in my taco salad instead of chicken and I was pissed as hell but too nice to complain so I made Kyle take it back. It also comes down to what we feel like sharing. Some people share everything, where others, not so much, and it often leads to that "perfect" image that we know isn't true. Does it make people 'fake' for only sharing the positive things in their lives? It might come off that way, but I don't think it does. People have a right to pick and chose who they share personal information with is all.
In the end, we all have problems. Just some of us have back-asswards ways of showing it.