When I'm With You I Have Fun10:32 AM
12 years ago today, Kyle asked me to be his girlfriend and I cannot for the life of me remember the exact words he spoke because I was too busy bouncing off clouds in my own excitement. I remember that we did not say "I love you" until a month later, in the parking lot of the Hilton pool hall that no longer exists. I remember that I actually fell in love with him long before that. I remember that Kyle was the first person I was ever with who did not give me that ball of anxiety in my stomach, I didn't feel nauseated, yay! I felt safe, I felt that even though my parents were shitting themselves over his age (18 while I was 15), and the fact that he had his own apartment, Kyle would not hurt me. He made sure I always got home on time, that I had a ride home from work when I worked nights. He helped me learn how to drive in his little shit-box of a Dodge Omni, and sat there with me on Friday nights while I did homework while his friends were out getting into shenanigans.
How do people end up with the same significant other for so long when they started off at such a young age? Isn't that fairy-tale nonsense? Probably. I fell for this charming, goofy bastard right away. It was really hard for me because I hate attention/flirting. Flirting for me was still what 10 year olds did, pushing and shoving, cracking jokes, etc. Kyle would just talk and smile and I would have to go hide because I felt like dying. After four months of working together, I actually made the first move (I still don't know where I got the balls to do that) by buying him a key chain with his name on it (okay, so maybe that was a little safe, but still). It took him a week, but then he asked me to go to the movies with him. I said yes, but was still terrified as all hell. I was actually really thankful that another couple came with us, even with my social anxiety tendencies, because I was distracted by them. When Kyle came to pick me up, he stood in the door for a good 10 minutes holding the flowers he brought for me because I was too scared to take them from him. Yet he still wanted to date me.
Another reason why we stayed together? Finding "the one" so soon, at such a young age? Well, crap. We not only fell for each other pretty fast (cheesy, I know), but we had to deal with a lot of big issues early on in our relationship. Personal issues, anxieties, college, moving out, moving back home, birth, and death. There were times when Kyle would drive me insane, where I would question if other relationships were like ours. Well, relationships are hard! Friendships, family, they are complicated and frustrating, so of course relationships are going to be as well. We had gone through so much so fast, that it was impossible to imagine going on with someone else, someone else who had not been there for those harder times. The roughest part of my life was from ages 15-22 and Kyle was there through all of it.
We are not perfect, not even now, not even close. I am an introvert, he is an extrovert. I am a clean-freak, he is a slob. He forgets that I am hypoglycemic and need to eat every few hours or I will become Satan, I forget that he was a drummer and therefore needs to tap on everything. We are both Libras and therefore indecisive as all hell. Kyle teases me for always falling for the "beta-male", I like the sensitive, dorky types. For the longest time, the joke was that I wear the pants in the relationship, and it can appear that way at times, but holy hell that is incorrect. Whenever I FINALLY make a decision on something, I run with it, I become bossy. But 99.9% of the time, the two of us are bumbling around like idiots with no idea to what is going on. If someone were to put a hidden camera in our house, the footage would be the vulchers from The Jungle Book, Me: "What do you wanna do?" Kyle: "I don't know, what do you wanna do?" Me: "Now don't start that again!".
But here we are, twelve years later and now married, married! Isn't marriage for responsible adults? Or something? Twelve years ago I was standing on my porch, staring into this guy's giant, hazel eyes vaguely aware that I was going to be in a relationship with him while simultaneously making a list of reasons why my dad should not murder him and let me date him. Now I have not one, but two anniversaries to share with this guy.
Kyle, who listens to me fangirl over Rivers Cuomo and refer to at least 4 British male celebrities as my other husbands. Who watches me kiss my pets more than I kiss him, who rolls his eyes as I tell my girlfriends that I love them and want to have their babies while still remain undecided if I want to actually have kids. This guy, who joins forces with me so that we become the two biggest, pains-in-the-asses in the world.
Me: I love you, you idiot.
Kyle: I love you, you offensive asshole.
But we sure are cute for two ugly people, right?