Cat Ears & Coffee: Love

The Story Of Us

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10-7-2014 "Everything Will Be Alright In The End"

This isn't the story of "Boy meets Girl", this is a Love story.

Sarnia Bayfest, my first Weezer concert (I bought an enhanced ID just to go to Canada to see them)

I was young when Weezer broke out into the music scene, really young. I was 7 years old when Weezer formed in 1992, and 9 years old when The Blue Album became successful. I grew up in a household where the only music my parents listened to were oldies and/or country music (which is why to this day I cannot stand country music), so I really cannot say when I first heard "Undone-the sweater song", or "Buddy Holly". I had friends with older siblings who were always playing interesting music, so I assume I heard Weezer that way.

However, the very first time that I heard a Weezer song, and immediately knew who they were has always stuck with me. Kyle and I were bowling with our friend Dan in Royal Oak (the bowling alley isn't even there anymore), I was in 11th grade, and "Photograph" came on over the speakers. There was a girl dressed in all black, with brightly colored hair, and she turned around to face the guy she was with and started singing along. I remember just sitting there and taking the song in, and really enjoying how I felt as I listened to it. I remember saying something to Kyle along the lines of "This is Weezer, I like them". A month or so later I bought a used copy of The Green Album from a record store on 9 mile in Ferndale, it was my first Weezer album.

1) Scott Shriner & myself/Weezer Cruise 2) Rivers Cuomo/Weezer Cruise 3) Brian Bell/Weezer Cruise 4) My friend Vera, Rivers, and I/Weezer Cruise

I slowly started accumulating more of their music over time, and I always would play one of their CD's whenever I felt down, because Weezer had this magical way of making me feel better. It wasn't that their music was always super uplifting, but just belting it out along with Rivers & co. was therapeutic. However in 2008 when The Red Album was released, that was when the obsession began. I played that album to death, I am pretty sure Kyle was borderline hating Weezer at that point. 2008 was a rough year for me, I had a "real" full time job at that point, but I had also wanted to finish school, so I was going full time as well. I have always thrived on being busy, especially when studying something I was passionate about, but at the same time I felt very lonely and disconnected from the ones that I loved. It was the start of many changes in my life; I was finally going to get out of the community college that I had been drifting around in for years, Kyle and I were engaged at that point, and it felt like all of adulthood was crashing down on me at once. I spent a lot of time driving around blasting The Red Album, and I think because it was the first album to feature each member of the band on vocals on separate songs, I started to notice how much I appreciated each member of the band.

No matter the content of the song, Rivers has this angst, this desperation in his voice that is just so convincing to me. Brian has a way of hugging the lyrics with that guitar, and giving them the extra push to make them true. Pat and Scott hammer everything together, sealing the song up in a complete package.

Weezer at Caesars Windsor, 2013

Of course, not everyone agrees with me, and I don't expect them to. To me however, this band is everything. I have never received a letter from a young girl in Japan, and fallen in love with her. How could I possibly relate to "Pink Triangle", "Perfect situation", or "In the garage" (other than being a fellow dork) for that matter? I can't. I can relate to the complete sincerity that is delivered with each song, the ability to capture experience, a moment, or even just acknowledging an emotion. Weezer represents the underdog, the beta male. That is how I fell in love with an entire band.

My first tattoo

1) Weezer Cover band 2) Kyle, myself, and Pat/Weezer Cruise

We met my heros, and gave them bunny ears

How do you express a love for a band that has gotten you through some really shitty times? How do you explain that an album, Pinkerton, gave you a sympathetic hug, while simultaneously tugging at your heart strings?

You can start by terrorizing your husband non-stop for years on end. Every time Kyle walked into the door after working a long day he was greeted with "I am the greatest man that ever lived" blaring in his ears, he would scream "NO YOU'RE NOT, RIVERS!" and slam the door. Each time we got in the car and I would casually ask if Kyle wanted to listen to music, Kyle would say yes, only to frantically hide my Ipod before I could plug it in and play Weezer. He had to endure two years of me ~~crying hysterically~~ wistfully talking about how amazing it would have been to go on that first Weezer cruise, knowing damn well we could never afford to go. The things we do for love, correct?

Weezer cruise

Although I can't bring myself to give a review of their latest album, only because I love it too much and will have a biased opinion, I can say that it really is everything a Weezer could have asked for in an album since the 90's. Personally, I love all of their albums, but EWBAITE is an album about music. They are acknowledging past mistakes with music, not that they regret any of it (and they really shouldn't), and are proving that they are just here to rock out and have fun, and this album is saturated in that sentiment.

I know at this point most of you guys are rolling your eyes, or scratching your heads in confusion. I know, this primarily a personal style blog, but it it is also a life blog, and Weezer is a big part of my life. I just love it when I see someone so passionate about something, that they cannot even find words to express their excitement, or they are talking so fast, or screaming so loud, that you have no idea what they are talking about. They have let something become such a huge, passionate part of them, and it is apparent. That is how I feel about Weezer, it is simply, love.

Weezer Cruise

11:35 AM
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Now & Then

Blogging

10:10 AM
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Snow Beast

Dogs

10:30 AM
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This Guy

Kyle

Yes, a slightly mushy post today. Sorry, not sorry. I know I have mentioned that Kyle and I have been busy as hell, and that the past two months have been rough, well that is completely true. Kyle stupidly enrolled in three courses at Oakland University this semester while working full-time, because I stupidly enrolled in three courses each semester while working full-time when I was there. There is just the internal battle of wanting to do well and be less stressed vs just getting school over with, so I fully understand.

With Kyle being in school, all of his time is taken up. He barely even sleeps, and when he does, he is out. This leaves all of the household duties up to me, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, walking the dog, making sure bills are paid, etc. This was a whole hell of a lot easier when we lived in a tiny apartment in comparison to a house. Don't get me wrong, our house is not very big by any means, but there is still a noticeable difference. Again, you people with kids, I commend you.

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So where does this leave us? It leaves us bickering, exhausted, frustrated, and most of all, it leaves us with barely any time together. To be honest, our schedules have almost always been off, ever since we started dating. But there is a difference now. One would think that we would be used to it, and we are to a degree, but it doesn't mean that it isn't hard.

When I was in school, I didn't mind if Kyle sat around watching TV while I studied, I could study anywhere. In a bar, in a coffee shop, while a movie was on, it didn't matter. For Kyle it is a different story. He is much better at remembering lectures than I ever was, but completely horrible at studying. He needs complete silence, and even if I am home and being quiet, I can't be in the same room unless he is "in the zone".

Again, frustrating. But how can I stay angry with him? I can't. This guy, who's job is 10x more demanding than mine, who after working 9 hours last night still drove someone home who didn't have a ride, someone who lives a good 30 minutes away round-trip. This guy who gets up early on Sundays and sneaks off to buy my favorite bagel while I am still in the shower, and despite how busy he is, will watch Liam for a few minutes so I can squeeze a small run in during the week.

Lets not forget that he ~~lets~~ asks me to cut his hair for him. Me, the woman who is famous for destroying my own tresses, as well as breaking things, is the one he wants to cut his hair.

Also, there are the times when I dressed him him as my favorite Doctors, and he just took it. Smiled even. There is love right there.

So in the end, despite all of the frustration, anxiety, and melt-downs, I can say that over everything I am proud of him for sticking with it. It is the worst thing in the world to hear people say "You STILL work at Mc Donalds? You are STILL in school?" why yes, yes he is. He loathes it, but sticks with it because he is fucking awesome like that. And that makes me love him (and miss him) even more.

10:39 AM
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One Year Later

Kyle

We have survived the first year of marriage, woot-woot! And to celebrate, how about posting some film photos that I have been hoarding for almost as long? And by hoarding I mean my brother & sister in-laws who took the the time to take all of our engagement photos, and all of our wedding photos, while one of them was also standing in the wedding, gave me a flash drive with these on them and I just downloaded them yesterday.

Shh, don't tell anyone.

"Does it feel different to be married?" for the first few weeks I would roll my eyes at this. Kyle and I had been together for over 11 years when we got married, and had lived together for almost eight of those years. So how could being married be different?

It isn't, not really. I honestly feel that after every major event in my life, something becomes more apparent, and when I am able to recognize it, I start to change. Back in 2003 when I moved to Yipsilanti, MI to start school, I decided to get an apartment with Brian (Kyle's twin) because we would be going to the same school, and the apartments were hundreds of dollars cheaper. Little did I know that it was a requirement for freshmen at Eastern Michigan University to live on campus. I changed my status to 'commuter', thinking that I had found a way around the system, only to have my student loans cut in half. Long story short, I ended up back in my parents house by December, and enrolled in community college. Did I feel any different as a college student? Yes. I felt like a big fat failure.

A year and a half later, I am doing OK. I have a job, and am in school. Not really loving either of them, but living. Kyle and I decide to get our own apartment together. This time I am confident. Kyle and I split all of the bills in half, I took boring classes, I worked at a job I hated. But I had Kyle, my cats, and my own space. I also went into credit card debt trying to pay for my classes (what are student loans even?), and I gained a lot of weight by eating fast food. What is cooking? Did I feel any different having my own apartment? Limited freedom I guess, not really sure if it was worth it.

Fast-forward to 2010 and I am enrolled at Oakland, Kyle and I have a house, Louie, and are planning a wedding. Did I feel any different? Yes, I was overwhelmed. But, I was starting to feel happy.

Come October of 2012, I thought I would be completely happy. I was done with school, the wedding was over and done with, we could finally focus on our house! I felt relieved.

Then Kyle was rushing around trying to get caught up in his classes. By being in school and working, his schedule was different than mine. Also, we had more family obligations to attend to. With Kyle being so busy with work and school, I was left with all of the household duties and it finally sunk in just how much larger our house is compared to our old apartment.

Where are we now? Kyle is still working and going to school. Because I have to be at work earlier than him, our schedules are still very different. Our house is still the same size, and we still have family obligations. Life is still very overwhelming at times.

So what is different? Just like with the previous events in my life, I learned to become more independent. I know that it sounds strange, you get married, you are supposed to be a team, you have each other, and that is all very true. But sometimes, it all comes back to if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.

I didn't like my classes, so I changed my major and forced myself to do better. I hated my job, so I quit and found another. I hated the next job, stuck it out until something better came along. I hated how I looked, so I lost weight. I hated having credit card debt, so I bought things second-hand and learned how to cook. I wanted us to have our own garden and our own space to personalize, so we bought a house. We wanted to be married, so we got married. No matter how much I don't want to do a load of laundry, or clean the bathroom, I still do it. I get exhausted, I get frustrated, but I know that I need to do these things, as much as I wish for a house elf to appear to give me a hand, it is on me. Same thing for Kyle, if he wants to pass his class, he has to stay up late and finish his paper. We still support each other, we are still there for each other. Sometimes I fall asleep at 8pm because I am just worn out, and Kyle is stuck washing underwear after he gets done with a closing shift. Or we just go commando ;)

I guess what I am saying is that I had assumed that at this point in my life, things would be easier. Sometimes they are, sometimes they are not. We are still learning, and growing. We are still dealing with all of the shit we get ourselves into, and as much as we drive each other crazy at times, we still love each other. So I guess it does feel different, but people change, adapt, and grow throughout their lives. So we will probably feel different next year, and the years to come. But, it is a good different, a happy different.

10:30 AM
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