Life Lately

8:14 PM


For the past week I have been living in my head. I have so many goals: pay off debt, move out, get like, ten more tattoos, grow out my hair, learn how to use my camera better, learn how to play Magic, the uke, the guitar, write more, lose those last eight pounds, and pierce my belly button (among other things). These goals are perfectly fine goals, but they are all such a work in progress, I won't reach most of them for a year if not more. Patience is a virtue, yes, but lately I have felt as if I have been failing at almost everything important. The only things that are going well are the gym, and this blog.

I almost never talk about my job as it is kind of a boring topic, but my work has been driving me insane. I have been behind for ages and first asked for help over a year ago. Recently our HR manager quit, so hiring someone is't really an option at the moment. I have been coming in early, and working Saturdays and don't get me wrong, I am loving the overtime, but I am still swamped. It is so very draining to give your all only to just keep drowning in paperwork. It is causing me to be so irritable, and unmotivated, which is very much not me. My cries for help are not going unnoticed, and I am being promised that a solution is in the works, but until then; patience. 


After my taxes were filed, my return went straight to debt. My company also exceeded our sales goals last year, so all of the employees were awarded an incentive comp check. Guess where mine went? Straight to bills. I also worked a total of 112 hours this paycheck, all of that OT? You guessed it. And yet, I still won't be able to save up enough to move for at least a year. To be fair, I am aiming to pay off not just random credit card debt, but also a chunk of my student loans, as well as my car before I move. I also still have no idea where I am planning on moving to, or if I want to try getting a roommate (Mariah!) or bite the bullet and live alone like I have always wanted to. 

That being said, I have all of these big, bright, amazing goals and although they are not unreachable, I am not patient and therefore feel as if I am trapped in a box. The need to see progress, to move, to constantly do something is so overwhelming at times. Don't get me wrong, I am an outgoing-introvert true and true. Living in my head is what I do. However, the need to move is strong. So I came up with a plan: I am going to move. 

Starting next month, I am going to attempt to run one 5k per month until fall. Going to the gym is a great release, and having an ideal weight is a goal and all, but it is a bit boring. So! Running it is. The perfect sport for an introvert on top of it, eh, eh? I am so very excited to have a challenge to work towards that is still very tangible. In the meantime I am going to keep plugging in the hours at work, working my ass off at the gym, taking out-of-focus photos with my camera, drinking on the weekends with my friends, reading books in bed at home, and blogging my random thoughts away for the internet to digest. Hopefully, along the way I will pick up on that whole patience concept too. 


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7 Musings

  1. Good attitude, buddy. Remain open to new possibilities and they will appear. In the meantime, do what you enjoy and stay healthy.

  2. Running is a lot of fun, plus it always gives me plenty of space in my head, since I'm usually concentrating too much on the running to think of anything, so the peace and quiet is a welcomed break. What about cycling? I also like cycling too, mostly because you can go further in the same time and it opens up lots of little places that you wouldn't normally be able to get to.

    How's the book btw? I was thinking of picking it up sometime to read.

    I feel you in the got to be moving forward all the time. Sometimes I just invent goals to move me forward when I'm getting to stagnant with life. Work is the worst for making me feel like my life is going nowhere. Here's hoping you get some more help ASAP!

  3. Don't get discouraged Sarah. You're probably at that point now though :( You are going through a lot of things and they can't be resolved all at once. It takes a little time. It's SMART to get rid of as much debt BEFORE you move. Or else you'll be even MORE OVERWHELMED and you don't want to have to move back. Write out what you owe. Figure out what you can commit to in paying it off and for how long. Right now may seem like a sacrifice, but it's worth it in the end. I'm glad the job is recognizing your work load and will be doing something about it. Use that extra money to your benefit.

  4. Ugh that debt sounds painful. I am paying off my car loan still too as well as Rob's school loan (which is nearly done). That is sad that your tax return was instead a debt. :( You work pretty much more than anyone I know at all and I can't imagine all those hours put into practice!!! I don't know how you have energy to work out with all those hours too and have time to hang out with anyone at all. I'd feel so drained! I am glad you have books to read to relax with!

  5. Oh..definitely..the season to think..gotta get moving. Hope you have a sweet Spring!

  6. Awesome photos! All the best to your goals! Keep on running!

  7. it's so important to write your goals, what you want to do and how, how soon it is etc. And it's always pleasant reading about you!


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