Today during my lunch break, I cried in my best friend's car. I also cried Friday night to my friends on the way home from a great show in Detroit. I cry a lot. Ninety-Nine percent of the time it is due to anxiety, but it also one of my many flaws. 

I am an idealist, I have these great, big ideas and theories that I am so very convinced will work out perfectly if I just put a lot of energy and enthusiasm into them, and I do. However, when things don't work out the way that I pictured them in my head, I am so easily crushed. I then convince myself that I didn't try hard enough, or that there is another way that I haven't tried yet, or I just wasn't in the right mindset. So I try again, and again, and again. Sometimes it works out, but other times it is another story. An idealistic, hopeless romantic with enough energy to give the energizer bunny a run for his money? Sure sounds great, but what happens when I finally exhaust every option there is (often ignoring blatant warnings from loved ones)? I get crushed. I go completely numb, because I can no longer tell what is reality, and what isn't. 

The biggest issue here is that no matter how bad the situation is, there is always a little bit of good. The good always outshines the bad in my eyes, and that has lead me into so much heartache. Even to the point of being friends with toxic people that I can no longer help, because the good memories with them always outweigh the bad. 

Earlier this week I decided to focus on one of the good memories, because those are things I can keep. The situations, the people, I need to let go of. 

Contentment