November Impression

10:24 AM

I can’t get warm.

It has been so cold outside lately, especially in the evenings. I keep walking in it. It pierces the exposed bits of skin on my face where my thick, green scarf and knitted hat won’t meet. Pin pricks on my cheeks, and nose, and I keep my head facing forward, concentrating on the nowhere I am going. My breath clouds me as I try to follow it with my eyes, each exhalation fades into the dark grey that surrounds me. There is a tiny hole in the corner of my left mitten, so I keep my hands jammed in my pockets. The soft pad of my finger traces the bottom of my pocket where a penny resides, tiny cold metal.

My mind has been aching for weeks, months. Too much drinking, dancing, singing, laughing, crying, working, reading, moving, always, always moving. It is as if there just isn’t room up there for me anymore.

The long streets stretch before me, with seemingly endless sighs. The houses are quiet, warm hubs. The tall, black trees make this street a cave. I just recycle songs.  

I take a deep breath, the approaching winter fills me. Winter is something I can both taste and smell, sharp snowflakes, mixed with dirty city air dissolve in my lungs. A painful comfort, because it makes me endure reality.

Salt, snow, and leaves crunch beneath my dead boots as I march through the tail end of this transitional season.  The sky is always either pink, or grey. The sun is long gone now, and the darkness breaks the static in my brain into two halves. Each side is folded into pockets, and the noise quells as the snow drifts in.

My toes are hard, my skin is at constant alert, and my nose will inevitably drip. I can't get warm, but this late November impression keeps self-sufficiency on my side.

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10 Musings

  1. Wow that is so nicely written. I love how it made me FEEL so much while you were writing those words. I FELT the words!!! I felt the chill! It was happy and sad all in one poem. Lovely.
    +Victoria+
    justicepirate.com

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  2. Keep at it. Keep noticing these things. Your mind may be moving faster than you like, but there's always room for you. You just proved it by writing this. :-)
    Aching, pain, deadness, darkness, quiet, cold: these are all temporary things.
    The aching won't always be there.
    The pain will eventually heal.
    The deadness of your boots will one day become bouncing energy.
    The dark will become light.
    The quiet will become a joyful noise.
    The cold will become warmth.

    And before I become far too "serious," remember to wipe your nose. ;-)

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  3. That's beautiful and if I could send you some warm sun i would :)

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  4. Cool prose! Oh, just wait for December! By January..iceberg!

    Stay tough. I know how much you really enjoy winter. I hope you are saving up for some spring break in Florida. I say that every year, but it hasn't happened yet.

    All the best!

    Keep writing!
    Stay you!

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  5. This is wonderful..oh..you are making me feel so cold. Brrrrr....

    I will confess, my hands and feet are the worst at never wanting to warm up.

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  6. Winter seems to have just arrived here in Belgium and you've described it perfectly - minus the snow ;)

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  7. This is just beautiful. Your words always resonate with me, but this time around even more so than usual. November and December can be strange months for so much feeling - it's as if emotions are magnified when the holidays arrive.

    xx

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  8. Your artistic talent, always present even in the background, is coming forth to help you ease the pain of your current situation. Artistic effort aids us in examining and understanding our lives. This process will benefit you. Hugs.

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  9. The way you write this so beautiful :)

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  10. This was such an awesome read. :D Also, I can completely relate in many ways.

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Talk nerdy to me.