Now that Kyle and I are finally married, we are constantly prompted with the inevitable: "So when are you two having kids?". Most of our close friends and family know better, but co-workers, old classmates, and a few acquaintances usually follow "Hey! How are you?!" with the kid question. Most of the time, it is no big deal, Kyle and I will both answer "Oh, whenever we are ready" and proceed to blow it off.
However, there are always those few who can't help picking at it. For instance: I recently went for my yearly physical and my doctor kept gushing on about how I should start having kids soon. She even went as far as to (jokingly) comment on my weight-loss by telling me to stop trying to lose weight and to have kids instead. I know she was just trying to make conversation, because I know how much talking about menstrual cycles and acid reflex issues are loads of fun, but still. It is a private matter between Kyle and I.
I like kids, I do. I don't freak out around babies like some people do (to be honest, that shit is annoying), I love my friend's kids. For the most part, I liked when my little brothers were chubby little guys. To be honest, I always thought I would be a mom some day. Eventually the thought of adoption came across my mind, I think it would be amazing to give a home to a child who needs one. I love the idea of being pregnant one day (except for the caffeine restrictions), but it is not something that I need to do.
The good thing about all of this pressure, is that is prompts me to discuss it with people who are/have been in the same position as me. Here is what I am typically faced with: If I had kids earlier in life, I would have been irresponsible. If I wait, I will be too old to connect with them. If I have one kid, they will be weird.If I have lots of kids, they won't get enough attention. If I keep working after having a kid, then I am not spending enough time with them. If I quit my job to take care of my kids, then I wasted my degree/I am not providing enough income for them. It. Never. Ends.
Then of course there is the whole "what if I just don't want kids?" life, because honestly, I don't really know. There is a lot of controversy over that one, mostly the argument over the fact that it could be considered selfish. I sometimes consider this because there are so many things that I still want to do with my life, that I am not sure if carting around a kid would work. Then again I have friends who do just that, and they are amazing, but then they get a lot of flack because people consider it "irresponsible". It really never ends.
Then of course there is the whole "what if I just don't want kids?" life, because honestly, I don't really know. There is a lot of controversy over that one, mostly the argument over the fact that it could be considered selfish. I sometimes consider this because there are so many things that I still want to do with my life, that I am not sure if carting around a kid would work. Then again I have friends who do just that, and they are amazing, but then they get a lot of flack because people consider it "irresponsible". It really never ends.
So what is my solution? I have none. For the moment, I am good without a kid. I have made the decision that if I do have a child, there will be only one. It will probably have "only child syndrome", but then it won't have "oldest, youngest, or middle-child syndrome", because lets face it, there will always be something. Will I change my mind? Maybe. I might change it in six months, I might change it in six years. I might just go ahead and adopt. I might just end up with 12 more cats and two more dogs.
But whenever people really bug me about having kids, when it really gets on my nerves I just tell them this:
"Whatever they did to me at Demon's Run, I can't ever give you children."
- 10:30 AM
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