Pass The Pink, Please.
10:43 AM
Over the past few months, possibly longer (because I'll be honest, I don't always pay that close attention to my surroundings, just ask that wall I walked into last week), I have noticed a lot of my friends on Facebook, twitter, etc. post something that they really enjoy, and then immediately apologize for it. Understandable if you have posted several times that day/week/month on the same topic, and you want to apologize for repetitiveness, okay, makes sense. However, the things that I see people apologize for are pretty ridiculous.
"OMG! Look at these boots! They are so cute! Haha, sorry for being girlie, I love shoes."
"IDK why I am want to watch all of these "girlie" movies right now, sorry but I like them, lol."
"I just bought this new *insert hair product here* and I love it! Sorry for being so girlie right now, lol."
I guess there are two issues here: What constitutes as "girlie", and why is there a need to apologize for it? Shoes/boots, "chick-flicks", and hair products are often targeted at women, but that does not mean that they are not gender-neutral.
Ex: All of my brothers and several men that I work with have seen "Mean Girls", and some of them will even spew out quotes for you on que. My dad sat down to watch "The Devil Wears Prada" with me when it came out on DVD. Kyle's favorite movie is "The Notebook". Ever since beards have become trendy, I cannot tell you how much of my instagram is filled with dudes posting selfies of their "freshly washed face-manes", or posting photos of their favorite beard balm. Excited about shoes? Well don't feel bad about it. Nelly created a very catchy song about shopping for Air Force Ones, and it was a hit.
"New Girl' dedicated an entire episode to addressing this bullshittery.
Maybe you grew up listening to heavy metal and suddenly like a Katy Perry song. Or, maybe you worked your ass off to get through law school, don a pantsuit every day, but find yourself wanting a pink bike. These things are okay! Our society is so obsessed with putting people into little categories, that we often only see one side of someone's personality. Think about your friends for a moment, when your best friend pops into mind, how do you describe him/her to others? I often used to describe one of my friends as "a mom", because she is one. It wasn't really fair to think of her just as a mom, she is also a really awesome cook, an incredible artist, and she also thinks fart jokes are the funniest thing ever.
The point is, we all have multiple interests. Some of them are obviously going to be more prominent than others, especially as we grow older and are exposed to new things. There is nothing wrong with wanting to wear a bow in your hair, just as there is nothing wrong with wanting to wear a pantsuit every day. What you like does not dictate your strength, or your intelligence.
In the 1970's, Sarah Jane Smith tells it like it is.
So why is this a big deal? I don't want to tell people what to do with their lives, it is their prerogative. However, we also live in a society where it is considered 'cool' for little girls to be tomboys, while boys that play with dolls are considered 'sissies'. My dad taught my brothers as well as myself, how to change the oil on our first cars. He also taught all of us how to cook basic things in the kitchen. My mother showed both my brother Mark and I how to change our younger brother's diapers. These were all considered things that we needed to learn how to do. 15 years later, I live in world where Bic has specially made ink pens, with pink and purple ink, labeled 'for her'. Um, okay, so I am not supposed to use the manly blue and black ink pens? My brother Mark's favorite color is purple, and he is supposed to be discouraged from using the pink and purple ones? We already are encouraged to not be gender-neutral, so why is it when we do like something feminine, we have to apologize for it? I can work just as hard at my job in a skirt on Monday, as I can on casual Friday in my jeans.
Femininity does not make you weak.
FEMININITY DOES NOT MAKE YOU WEAK.
You do not have to like most feminine things, or any for that matter. However, how about not assuming that the girl in the frilly skirt is only concerned about shopping, or that the boy in the ballet class won't also kick your ass if you make fun of him. If you want a more humorous, but also very accurate depiction of a female kicking ass while wearing a cute skirt, watch "Legally Blonde". While I am at it, don't ever apologize for being a dork/geek/nerd/jock/goth/being straight edge/etc. Because that is a part of who you are, and if I could, I would personally deliver a falcon-punch to the throat to anyone who makes fun of you for expressing that.
Now excuse me while I change the oil in my pink car.
18 Musings
PREACH sister! I love it! I am guilty of being apologetic about silly things sometimes and I agree, we should stop! Be who you are!! I LOVE girlie things and I won't be sorry about it!
ReplyDeleteSARA I LOVE YOU! This post was so necessary! Also pertinent...that New Girl quote is just about the best. thing. ever. {I'm stealing it for my Tumblr}.
ReplyDeletexx
This makes me think about an article I read recently about how "guilty pleasure" is a phrase we all need to stop using. If it's something you enjoy, don't feel guilty! Embrace it! I, for one, can eat a disgusting amount of raw cookie dough in one sitting and I absolutely REFUSE to feel bad about it! I also consider myself a feminist who sometimes enjoys traditionally anti-feminist things. And that's okay too.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, of course I can't remember where I read this article or who wrote it. Sorry :( But still, HOORAY for embracing femininity or whatever else it is that makes you who you are :)
Oh..you never know what's going to be trending these days. I am sure I will always love pink. I have a guy friend with pink hairlights and of course a pink furry chair to sit in at work.
ReplyDeleteBut as you said..embrace it..what ever it is that you might have a hankering for..as long as its not going to hurt anyone. I don't think pink..ever has.
And for our roles..its great that you know how to change the oil in your car!
You go, girl. Important subject, intelligently handled. Great post.
ReplyDeleteSexism is alive and well. The saddest thing is when women accept its tenets and conspire to their own subjugation. Femininity, because of its association with women, is (unfairly) de-valued. The effort and artistry that goes into much female beauty and fashion is extraordinary and deserves real respect. A woman who can master clothing, makeup and hair is talented indeed.
i make no apologies for my love of shoes. and while my kids might be more stereotypical in their likes and dislikes, they also both love cooking, legos, robots, and nail polish. i make no apologies for my son's long hair and painted nails. this is one of my most favorite posts ever.
ReplyDeleteOh..I do have my obsessions..usually its with TV shows.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I'm not really into fashion since the industry never really makes anything that fits me. And I'm never really sure about those high end fashions. I like whats comfortable.
Go You!
ReplyDeleteThis! All of this! My brother had a cabbage patch kid growing up and he treated it like I treated one of my baby dolls. He loved it. I love this post! Keep preaching it, sista!
ReplyDeletexo
Rachel
hahahaha i love you. i agree with everything you said.
ReplyDeleteon the flip side, i reblogged something on tumblr today that basically said being personally restrictive about everything around you to where everything causes you "anxiety" and everything is a trigger word or should be censored because someone SOMEWHERE could be offended, maybe, is ridiculous. and i agree with that most of all. plus, someone who is introverted and has dealt with serious anxiety disorder my whole life, it bothers me when people use it like some use OCD. just because you don't want to go out or something stresses you out doesn't mean you are that way. it means you're human and you're reacting to your environment. damn. okay, i'm done.
The reason why it's more acceptable for a woman to do "man things" than it is for for a man to do "woman things" is because women = bad/weak. I have these problems in my family. My male cousin gets his eyebrows done and pedicures. His brother is all "no, that's gay". This is the man who probably spends days in the same underwear and never brushes his teeth. When he said "gay" what he really meant was 'feminine' & what he & a lot of people don't understand is GAY DOES NOT MEAN FEMININE.
ReplyDeleteMen expect women to look good for them all the time. Some women want to look good for themselves (& if someone wants to look good for a man, that's their choice. No judgement, but I hope it's with self-love). If a man wants to spend extra time caring for himself, um, HOW IS THAT NOT AN ATTRACTIVE QUALITY? I'm annoyed that it's okay for a man to be gross but if a woman is having a lazy day or skips a shower she's unattractive or whatever.
Very very very good post!! I agree with you whole heartily!! :))
ReplyDeleteI was watching an Advent calendar YT series by Hannah from The Yogscast in December, and she kept getting letters from female fans saying something to the effect of "I love video games and I don't know of any girl gamers, but I can't like makeup or clothes because people think that's weird." I was like GIRLS PLS I HAVE LIKE FOUR NEON PINK LIPSTICKS and HAVE YOU SEEN THE SICK BLACK HEELS I WEAR WITH MY LEGGINGS and I HAVE DRESSES IN MY CLOSET TOO YA KNOW. It made me so sad that these Female Fans of Many Awesome Things thought that all of that was mutually exclusive.
ReplyDeleteMy co-worker has a twelve year old daughter who thinks she can't like "feminine" things because she likes "nerdy" things. She ended up looking through all my pictures on Instagram through her mom's account and was stunned that I could like glittery nail polish, knitting, crazy leggings, hockey, AND Doctor Who. Hopefully she will come to the realization that it's okay to wear a dress AND recite entire episodes of The Big Bang Theory!
one should never apologize for what they LOVE! that's ridiculous. i think many are worried about what others may think. i use to have that problem, but not anymore. i'll be 100 years old and loving hello kitty. lol
ReplyDeletehttp://www.averysweetblog.com/
Dude. I've never done link love before, but more people have to see this. Yes.
ReplyDeleteI grew out of apologising for liking the things I liked when it didn't actually stop people from judging the things I like. Sometimes you have to just say 'screw it and do whatever you want'.
ReplyDelete~ K
bluehairinbelgium.blogspot.be
death metal katy perry and long live beards!
ReplyDeleteYES!!! I love that Doctor Who episode. You're the woman! hehe (and I'm not apologizing for saying that at all hahahahahaha). My oldest brother's favorite color is purple too and he wears it often. Great post!
ReplyDelete+Victoria+
Talk nerdy to me.