Spotted Again

2:05 AM

Spotted again. Either I dress rather conservative for the bar or I dress like a slut for work.  I wore this skirt to Luna's before and then I wore it to work yesterday. I think things would not look so tight on me if I wasn't so curvy, but that is how I am built, so I deal. That really isn't the point of this post. I am coming to the conclusion that I am changing, growing up (ha!) or whatnot. For the past few years, I have been "The boss", as in, I usually take charge in my group, not necessarily make all the decisions, but I push people through to make sure we get done. I think it is a natural instinct of being the eldest child, but more importantly it has made an impact on my life. In my five year stint at McHell, two of those years I was a manager. And I hated it. I hate telling people what to do. I make quick decisions, and they are not always right. I honestly like to weigh my options (I am a Libra dammit) I need to see both or all sides before making a decision. However, when someone else makes the decision, I will push them to follow up on it. For instance if we are going to Luna's on a Saturday, then I call everyone, make sure we are meeting at a certain place and a certain time and we all leave together or meet at a spot inside. When Kyle said that he wanted to go to OU this fall, I make sure that he has done all the paperwork that needs to be done, and made all his appointments. When my friend Brian is complaining about people being rude to him, I find out who it is and then I bitch them out. I do this mostly without even thinking about it and more and more I feel like I am fighting everyone's battles. It becomes exhausting, and most of the time I feel like I am being a bitch.

I am also very much a Libra.  I said I have trouble making decisions and when I finally make one, I have to stick to it to make sure it gets done. I pretty much go by a strict schedule because there are so many things that I want to do. The problem is, my schedule does not fit around everyone else's and it does not always mesh well. I then feel cheated or bummed out of I don't get everything that I wanted done, done. It can get really OCD at times, but it is how I function

 (Kyle thinks this is the greatest pose ever)

With all this being said, I need to be better. Better to myself and others. I need to set time aside for the things I like to do so I am not crabby at friends when we hangout. I need to set aside time for balancing my checkbook, cleaning my apartment, for reading and even blogging. I am tired of trying to cram in a post during my lunch break or before work. They come out so half-assed.  I really miss reading and I have not had the time to do it this summer, and I also want to exercise more and I only manage to get walks in with Louie.

I am also someone who needs alone time. I need to recharge before being with people, even Kyle. I almost always suck at spur of the moment things, unless I get everything I need to do done, then I am like "let's do whatever". Where am I going with this? I don't know. I want to do everything, I have to be busy in order to function, but only scheduling an hour or two with people can be rude, so what do I do? I can't really change how I am, or how I feel without being completely uncomfortable in my own skin. I just need to be better. Sorry for the giant rant, but this is my place to do it, I promise not to do it too often. 

The skirt earlier this week:

On a less whiny "gwah" note, here is my new favorite picture :)

Top & skirt-Forever 21
Tights, shoes & bag-Payless

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17 Musings

  1. You look adorable! I love the pic of you with the sign "you look lovely today." No truer words were spoken! Have a happy holiday weekend.

  2. I love your skirt and blouse! Such a cute look! I totally know what you mean. I feel like I have to take charge of so many things, to make sure everything gets done how I want. Then I feel bad, because obviously I'm not the center of everyone's universe. I'm like you too though in the sense that I have to be busy all the time to feel good. It means some crazy scheduling and sometimes short-changing others, which I hate. I think it's supposed to be about balance, which is easier said than done ;)

  3. Hey girl. Never apologize for ranting. This is YOUR space... and we can all relate to what you're saying. I think it's important for us to show this side from time to time, because it makes us all feel like we're less alone in our issues. I'm not currently in your situation, but when school rolls around you bet I will be. Balancing friendships, family, relationships, jobs, school, cleaning, and hobbies is quite the task. I think it's a milestone in growing up when you realize that time management is important and that we can't do it all all of the time. I also think that this problem affects us females a lot more than men- we try to do it all. I can't even imagine what adding kids to the mix will be like... ugh. But that's another page long comment.

    Much love, understanding, and hugs!

  4. hi sara

    how are you wow cool skirt looks very nice
    have agreat day

  5. I love how you have put together this skirt with so many different types of clothes. It looks great! This might be my fav.

    I heard you on the whole telling ppl what to do. Sometimes I feel like a bitch too, but I guess we just like to help ppl out? haha idk!

  6. love the skirt! lol, reading that post was like reading my own biography; i am so like you in so many ways! i am constantly the organizer, and running around trying to put together everything, then getting mad when it doesn't work out. occasionally, i can be the bitch, but hey, it's better than getting stepped on, right? :)

  7. You are woman..we have to roar all you can do with that skirt. I hope you have a happy weekend. Tis true..just not enough hours in the day.

  8. I love, love, love the remixes of this skirt - you always style it in the most fabulous of ways!

    I totally hear your rant; sometimes you want to be with tons of people, other times you just want to be alone. It's human nature; as long as other people respect it you can make it work! :)

  9. lovely lovely polkadot skirt!


  10. The skirt looks good on your hips where it belongs! :) Have you tried using it as a bandana?!

  11. I'm not a Libra, but I am much the same.
    Exactly the same actually... :D The taking charge - often being the only one to, and then people (or myself) make me feel like I'm being bitchy and pushy... when I'm not, I just know it won't get done/fixed/changed unless someone gets the group going...
    I'm glad you ranted about this here... makes you more human and makes me feel less like it's just me with these feelings.

    Love the ways you've remixed this skirt.
    Looks so good on you!
    Love ya xoxoxoxoxoxo

  12. Hey Lady! I understand how you feel and it is completely acceptable for you to use this space to rant without apologizing!! I think it's really hard to hear what other people want and not want to help them get to that place, or to hear that someone's not being nice and to not react. I think it just means that you care about those around you and you want the best for them! I think that is admirable, but I can definitely understand what you mean when you say you feel like a bitch. I often do too even though most of the time I keep my thoughts to myself! I still feel like a bitch!! Haha, but I just want you to know that you're not alone in your feelings!

  13. I like those black shoes! <3

    -Dyanna Pure

  14. Cute as always! I think I have the same pair of shoes! Whoa! O_O Hehehe! :)

  15. :)

    I think I am very much like you, I am so bossy sometimes, I have to push people all the time to get things done.

  16. multifunctional skirt!
    super cute too xoxo


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